Thursday, March 3, 2016

13 Smart ways to deal with toxic people

Hey guys,

Do you have to deal with toxic people in your life, I do.

I will give you 13 ways to deal with them with no sweat, these ways have helped me since I was 17, when I figured them out, some of them I have retained through life and personal experience, some were given to me as an advice from people I look up to ,either way I feel these will help you as they helped me ALOT.

1. Respect Yourself

Don’t enable others to take advantage of you by making excuses for them. The more you value yourself, the less time you spend with people who don’t value you. If you make excuses to spend time with toxic people, you might have to evaluate some of your own issues. You might be dealing with a lack of self-esteem, which is attracting others of the same nature.

2. Restrain Yourself

While you may find it incredibly easy to chop down the lies and baggage that toxic people pile on, restrain yourself from getting involved. It isn't necessary to validate anything that is being questioned because you know the truth.

3.  Establish Boundaries
This one may seem obvious, but it requires the most pro-activity. Just because you’re in a work or home environment, doesn’t mean you have to engage with that person. If it’s someone you’re very familiar with, like a spouse or co-worker, you probably have learned some of their behavior habits, which makes him or her more easily predictable. So, in the future, think rationally about when you need to engage and when you can walk away.
4. Raise Your Positivity Levels
Toxic people are very negative and like to spread negativity amongst the people that they encounter. The saying that misery loves company is very true. When you encounter toxic people, do your best to raise your positivity levels and list the reasons why your life is worthy of more.

5. Stay Aware of Your Emotions

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening.  Think of it this way—if a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight. When you find yourself with a coworker who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.

6. Don’t Focus on Problems - Only Solutions

When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.

7. Understand that toxic people are in pain.

No person who hurts others is happy with themselves. By verbally beating others up, toxic people actually batter their own selves. Their external toxicity is the symbol of how they treat themselves. The pain you feel after their remarks is lesser than the pain and misery they have to live with every hour of their lives. Be compassionate, therefore; this kind of understanding and attitude will help you to be less affected by their words and actions.

8. Develop A Support System

You shouldn’t have to go at it alone. Besides, gaining outside perspective is always a good idea. Sometimes even simply talking out the situation with someone can foster a solution to your lingering problem. Someone might be able to see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested.

9. Avoid arguments.

Trust me, toxic people are experts in arguments. They will quickly bring you down if you attempt to over-smart them with arguments.

10. Be Yourself.

Don't be tempted to bend the rules or change who you are as an individual. Always be yourself and be proud of it. Own it! Never shy away from what you believe in and do not allow others to make you feel less than who you are.

11. Busy yourself.

Make yourself seem too busy to give them your time. Keep finding ways to get busy and keep excusing yourself from having to talk to them. You can even make it obvious that it’s an excuse, for they don’t value your time anyway so you shouldn’t care if it’s an urgent business or not.

12. Have Patience
Patience really is a virtue and moreover it's an attribute that you must have when dealing with difficult people. Stay calm and do not get overly emotional. With patience comes wisdom.

13. Pray

Seek comfort in prayer. Pray for your ability to restrain from adding to the toxicity and pray for the people who feel the need to bring misery upon themselves and others. It's easy to write people off but it's important that you pray for them - as there may be a deeper underlying issue.

Finally, I hope you found these advice helpful, and somewhat assuring that everything is going to be okay in end.
Please tell me in the comment down below if there are special topics you want me to cover here in Aseel's corner, I'll appreciate it. Thank you.

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